K/S Hospital Scene bc Into Darkness was so K/S TASTIC

[done_in_3]

It was so sudden. He woke up with a flash, bright lights, soft sounds, a bed, he was alive?? But he'd died in the chamber...in engineering. Spock and he had exchanged that vulcan hand-thing whatever the hell it was. He'd died, he was dead. Was this heaven? Holy....

No. Bones was here nagging at him.

"Oh don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead. You've been out cold for two weeks."

He was so...taken aback. What had happened? He just remembered being in the locked chamber watching Spock shed tears, glimmering tears of anguish as he slowly died of radiation poisoning... his heart lurched at the memory. He didn't know the vulcan was even capable...

And then Spock was in the room, approaching him. Suddenly... everything else was forgotten. Hell even Bones was gone in his mind, though he could hear the doctor put in a "You know Uhura and I had something to do with it too."

"....Thanks, Spock... for saving my life..."
 

Comments

[done_in_3]

_{[She nods. Well that's settled and out of the way. She's stressed but she's handling things calmly.]}

Don't worry about it, it's as much a good for me as it is for you two. I could use the company... especially that of my son. And you.

... How are you by the way? You need to talk about it?

[spohkh]

[Spock thinks for a moment... ]

Missus Kirk... I am uncertain of how I should speak of it. And by human standards it is unfair to you. From your perspective I have only entered into a relationship with Jim a few days ago. And you... you almost lost a son...

I should be asking you if you wish to speak of your emotions at this time.

[Spock was trying to dodge the bullet in a very classy way.]

[done_in_3]

_{[She just chuckled softly. He knew a boy trying to skirt accountability when she saw it. Even if he did it in a very tactful way.]}

Jim isn't going to be in any state to help you when you get alone time with him. You have to rely on someone and I have an established system with you as well as understand the situation at hand.

So tell me...how are you feeling? You almost lost a lover.

[spohkh]

[Spock makes a small, non-committal noise as he looks away... but quirks an eye at the word 'lover'...

Interesting word.... and he supposes it's accurate.
Spock stands and starts to pace the small room.]

I feel.... torn. Part of me wants to do better, to be better for Jim so that he does not feel that he has to go out and hurt himself. The other part of me believes that I am not enough.... not good enough... not human enough for Jim. My very presence in his life has put him in danger.
If I stay, I hurt him... if I leave I will hurt him.

I do not know what to do.

[Spock is angry at himself. He does not like how emotional he is being, how utterly un-Vulcan like he is. He is better than this... he has more control than this.

...but no matter what... if it involves Jim, Spock has no control. And that's what scares him the most.]

[done_in_3]

...that sounds like a very reasonable feeling.

But understand that Jim's habits can't be broken overnight. He's practiced this coping mechanism and it's going to take more than one attempt from you to get him out of it.

Staying with him, Spock, is perhaps the only safe thing he's had happen to him in his life. Try to understand where he comes from... and I don't entirely understand it myself. But Jim has lived his life suffering brutality alone, and as a result he'd picked up a lot of bad habits. He needs you and me to show him alternatives and he needs to come to those on his own.

...It didn't matter what you did today to stop him, Jim would have ended up hurting himself somehow. That's the way my son is.

...

...but don't leave him. If you have any desire to help him, Spock I can promise you that leaving him will only ensure he stays this way forever.

You and I have our differences but Jim... he loves you. That's a big risk for him to take, Spock. You do realize that every person he's ever loved has left him? Don't hurt him like that. I don't know if he could take one more...

[spohkh]

[Spock stops pacing as he listens to Winona....

...nodding he sits down beside her once more.]
Of course. You are right.


Regardless, I do not think it would be possible for me to leave him. It would severely damage us both.
[And it was in that truth that he hoped he did not make Jim feel trapped.
Well... time would tell, and Spock wasn't going anywhere.
Oh...

... Spock remembered something.]

Missus Kirk... that horse... he managed to escape. Will he be alright?

[done_in_3]

I'm glad to hear that.

_{[She hoped this marriage would help Jim. He had exhausted everything she had in Iowa and herself to help him.]}

Do you mean that to tear the bond apart would hurt Jim?

I couldn't care less about the horse right now to be honest. The whole property is fenced in, he won't get away. There's plenty of grazing fields he can use. He'll calm down and later I'll find him. He's wild. He'll manage. Hell it's probably a nice break for him.

[spohkh]

It would indeed hurt Jim. It would be akin to tearing off a limb... only it is in your mind.
It is why Vulcan marriages are only dealt with seriously, and on a permanent basis. It is possible for two individuals to break the bond if they are not compatible.... because the bond itself is not strong.
However, the stronger it is, the more painful it is when the bond is damaged in any way.

To break it entirely....

....Jim is human, he would survive it.

[Spock... would not. If anything, he was amazed his father survived Amanda's death. However, they were not T'hy'la... that changed things.]

[done_in_3]

... But you wouldn't?

_{[She clearly had no idea Spock was risking that much to be with her son. That changed things a bit...]}

And Jim knows this?

[spohkh]

Missus Kirk... the only way I would willingly break the bond if it is what Jim wanted.
As for how much Jim knows... he knows enough. I do not wish him to feel trapped.

[done_in_3]

Alright... I appreciate your concern for Jim's perspective.

But there's also such thing as leaving too much out, Spock. Don't you think he should know that?

[spohkh]

Perhaps... but then, Jim never did like ultimatums.

[Spock was silent for a moment.
Should he really tell Jim the full consequences of the bond? If anything, to inform him now would only imply that he should have told him earlier.

But then, nothing was easy between them.]

When Jim is well... I will inform him.

[done_in_3]

It's up to you ultimately. Though while he doesn't feel trapped right now technically he is.

Whatever works for your partnership. I understand not wanting him to feel trapped. But I think that should have come up before you bonded. It's no matter, it's all in the past now....

I think we would both do well to become better versed in the victims of abuse. I don't know about you but I'm getting plenty of books on it to start with.

[spohkh]

Indeed... that is a wise decision.

[Research articles, books.... anything he could get his hands on he would. But for now, all they had was each other...

...a rather interesting situation for sure though far from humourous.

Since meeting Jim, he has learned the painful truth about himself... He was a selfish creature. He wanted Jim... He wanted Jim to be safe, even if it meant keeping him suffocatingly close. But he knew he couldn't do that. Things were going to inevitably change now that they were bonded...

...and they were going to have to have talk soon.
For now... they had to wait.]

[done_in_3]

[She could understand wanting someone close no matter the cost. She felt that easy for her late husband. But Jim would ultimately have the decision with Spock. Though she hoped he wouldn't damn the poor boy to death. Jim will be in a very difficult place feeling trapped for sure.]

Why don't you tell me everything bc about this bond now? In case there's some other glaring detail that's been overlooked.

[spohkh]

[Spock sat up straight and regarded Winona...]

You must understand Missus Kirk... Jim and I are T'hy'la, a bond that has not been recorded in Vulcan history for almost a thousand years. What I know is extremely limited.

[Spock hesitated for a moment. It was ingrained in Vulcans from a young age that these things weren't spoken of to outsiders. Even then it was something only limited to family members...

...well...

Winona was family now. Technically.]

It is.... difficult to explain in human terms. Vulcans feel differently than humans... perceive differently. Perhaps I can once again show you, if you are amenable.

[Spock was suggesting another mind meld.]

[done_in_3]

You're rather generous with those. Are all Vulcans like that?

I'm afraid I'll have to say no for now. I'd like to take you up on that when I have time to recover.

... I don't think I knew that. Your bond is that rare? How do the Vulcans feel about it?

[spohkh]

[Spock blushed as he looked away...]

Forgive me... I have been using them as a 'cheat'. I have difficulty explaining in terms that humans can understand.

And I am not 'generous' as you say... rather, melding with someone once leaves behind a mental signature... a familiarity. You are family and I have melded with you once before. My mind finds yours a comfort rather than an intrusion.

[Spock considers for a moment...]

As far as I am aware, only my father knows of the T'hy'la bond... however, he will no doubt inform our clan leader, T'pau... who is also head of the Vulcan high council. Jim is now a member of the house of Surak... my family house.

[done_in_3]

... forgive me. I meant no offense, only that melding exhausts both of us and we need to stay sharp for Jim. If they need to ask us anything regarding his medical future I'd be useless if we did that now. I'm still recovering from the last one.

... I know who T'Pau is. She is a relative of yours?

Surok, is that your surname?

[spohkh]

T'Pau is my grandmother... and my surname is 'S'chn T'gai'. Surak was the Vulcan that started the reform to logic... and is the oldest clan on Vulcan.

[Spock thought of his grandmother... and her ways. She was a fierce leader in her own way, but she also had a quirky personality.]

She was one of my mother's supporters, I foresee no issue on her behalf in regards to Jim.

[done_in_3]

The reform... right when Vulcan became logical and emotionless. I think most earthlings forget that is a learned behavior.

Your grandmother is T'Pau... Spock are... is your family nobility on Vulcan?

[spohkh]

Nobility.... That is such a curious word. It implies a class system yes? Well, while Vulcans do try to not favour one family over the other, there is an old tradition of honour.

I was once engaged to a female Vulcan by the name of T'Pring. Her family wanted more honour, so they made a proposition with my family and agreed that our mental compatibility was sufficient.

They were wrong.

[done_in_3]

_{[She raised an eyebrow at that. Sure, Vulcans perhaps thought of classes as irrelevant and illogical. But Spock was engaged before?]}

An arranged marriage?.... who... broke it off? You or her?

[spohkh]

She wanted nothing to do with me... and I wanted nothing to do with her. The initial bond that we shared that showed the status of 'intended' did not last and it merely.... dissipated.

[Spock looks at Winona with a raised eyebrow...]

Once the elders realized their mistake, they did not seek to 'push' the matter. As for who specifically broke it off, it was very much a mutual decision.

[done_in_3]

I see... So marriage is taken pretty seriously by the vulcans?

_{[That's a bit of relief.]}

Tell me more. What is a typical vulcan marriage like? What are the gender roles? I doubt Jim has thought much about it beyond the fact that he's into you.

What do you expect from my son?