done_in_3 | K/S Hospital Scene bc Into Darkness was so K/S TASTIC

_{[Sarek seems to pause, almost as if he had to think about that one. Was there... something emotional happening? He felt a bit sad... and joyous... and lonely... and proud.]}

I am pleased to hear that... I had considered it previously. You'll be pleased to know that your grandmother finds it in your best interest that you bond yourselves without a formal ceremony. I objected to the idea but... she was adamant.

...Nonetheless you have my blessing.

... I will advise that you be patient with him, Spock. And for Jim... do not try to push yourself. You will feel helpless but you will gradually recover. Rushing this impatiently will only tarnish the final bond.

Spock... you must be poised to tend to him. He will feel helpless because he will be. His needs will be known to you and not others... using that to help Jim... will help strengthen the bond and keep it thriving in its young stage...

_{[He feels like he wants to say something else...]}

[Spock regards his father for a long moment.

It's as if he can almost see those emotions flit through his father's features.]

I thank thee for your blessing, father. Your advice will be followed.
However, are you feeling satisfactory?

I...

....

Commend your observation.

Your mother would have savored this moment... I find myself curious as to what our interaction would have been, reflecting on your growth as an adult entering into a bonded life.

_{[He misses his wife, he misses being half of a set of parents. He misses talking about everything and nothing and now you are stepping away from him... he's sad.

Jim leans forward]}

Would it help if we came by when we could?

[Spock went quiet.
That's right... his mother wasn't here to experience this with them. It's not as if he forgot, her absence in his life was very noticeable...

...now more than ever. He was getting married and she wasn't there to see it. This was... unfortunate.
And now his father was alone.]

Yes... we will visit. Or perhaps...
[Spock looked to Jim...] Perhaps we could extend an invitation to visit us here at the farm?

_{[Jim nodded]}

I've talked to mom. We have plenty of rooms here. If you have time, I'll send you the address. Come whenever you want. I mean you'll have to accept me however I am but I'd be happy if you came.

_{[Sarek considered it.]}

I cannot guarantee anything but... I appreciate the offer.

It is my hope that your decision will lead you here father.

However, as soon as we are able, we will come by the embassy to visit with you.

[Spock lifts his hand in a Ta'al...]

Peace and long life to you, father... until next we meet.

It would be beneficial if we can meet before you depart for space. I'd prefer to establish a familial bond with you, Jim, while you have a window of time to grow accustomed to it.

_{[ Thus giving him two sons to be lonely about...He offered the ta'al in return.]}

Live long... and prosper. Both of you.

It is my hope that the bonding process is a success.

_{[And he was out. Busy man. Jim nuzzled against Spock.]}

... You ready?

Edited 2013-08-21 05:14 (UTC)

[Spock hummed in response to Jim's affections.]

I...

[Spock was about to say that he was uncertain. Sure he was nervous... he was nervous for Jim, and what this might do to him. They were not guaranteed his safety.
But one touch, one sentiment from this man and he would be ready for anything. He faced death and danger.. surely they could face a marriage.
The Vulcan kissed Jim's forehead.]

Yes. Though perhaps we should relocate to our bedroom. It might be best if you were already lying down.

[He smirked and stole a slow kiss. Sweet, loving, and wet.]

... race me.

[He ran off and darted upstairs, taking him two at a time. Don't complain about him overexerting himself. He will rest soon. He bursts unto his room and jumps on his bed. ]

come on Spock. Marry me or lose me forever.

Edited 2013-08-22 21:24 (UTC)

[Spock followed close on Jim's heels.... almost smiling in anticipation for what was to come.
He would have berated Jim for overexertion... but he could forgive it this once. The Vulcan soon joins Jim on the bed...]

Well we cannot have that Ashaya...

[His mental voice was... happy and apprehensive. But it was truly now or never.
Gingerly, the Vulcan lifted his hand to Jim's head, speaking the ritual words.]

My mind to your mind... my thoughts, to your thoughts.... [And plunged them into the darkness of their minds....]

_{[He smiled to Spock, beaming with glee at this began. He was so eager and wanton to complete their bond, he had no room for anxiety or doubt. His mind had itched for Spock's as soon as they established their preliminary bond. He needed the real thing, and every second he had to wait for it was painful. It tried what little patience he had and he was finished.

Jim wouldn't yet say he liked the darkness of their minds just yet. But it was his theirs, it was sort of familiar. Just as he and Spock left it. He was possessive of this place that both did and did not exist. He fell into step seamlessly where they left off with him yearning and reaching for Spock all around him. A bright star in an inky darkness. He lit up the space all around him... Spock's presence was everywhere, strong, stoic, proud, unyielding... Jim knew it wouldn't falter, Spock was merely out of his reach. He reached out, his mind's yearning becoming rather loud. His star was shining gold, a glorious thing to look at, though Jim was oblivious to his appearance.

Every star in the space around them was a single thread of their bond. Spock was Space, Jim was the sun. He wanted their threads to grow stronger...]}

[Spock filled the void around his sun... touching each and every single star and encouraging them to grow... becoming brighter, stronger.

This was indeed a comfortable place to be. The Vulcan basked in the glory of the sun that was Jim Kirk. Spock murmured in Vulcan as he communicated with the bond, filling the space with more and more stars, tying them together.

You could tell at this point that this bond was unbreakable, permanent. Their minds were becoming one, and Spock... well, he welcomed Jim into his mind. Invited him to see all that was there as Jim had done. There would be no judgement here... only love.]

_{[Jim watched in eager wonder and felt relief when their bond grew stronger. He felt it reach its full capacity and felt empowered. His light got only brighter and warmer. The stars gleamed brighter as he did, they became strong... and Jim felt as though he could do anything. Nothing was beyond him in this place. He didn't feel tired at all... he felt like he had the energy of the star he appeared as in their world.

He reached forward, willing Spock's life to open up so he could see all that he was, all his memories. He felt his own mind opening and spewing everything. Jim had a moment of concern for Spock to see it all... but he busied himself with Spock's memories.

A child born of two worlds, in a desert, with a father who was emotionally distant and a mother who couldn't show her love enough.

Jim's memories began too... a child born to a hollow broken woman with a monsterious new husband. A house on Earth in a rich field with only a kindly older brother to befriend. George was the spitting image of their father and he and Im whiled away the years. George was patient but demanded obedience. He was loyal and fierce and brave and Jim wanted to be just like him. He overcame all his fears with his brother who would accept none of them when they got in the way of adventures. Climbing trees, snow sledding, riding horse, swimming under water... Jim learned a lot from George and he was the idol of his life]}

[Spock saw the memories fly through space at a warp speed. He reached out and became part of them all... watching them and living in them as he became part of Jim. His mind became hot with the rays of the sun touching every surface.
He could tell that Jim was worried about his reaction... but he assuaged his mate's fears by fully opening up the crevasses of his mind, welcoming Jim with open arms. Laying bare his soul in return.
Spock drank in the memories and shared his own... of a life on Vulcan.]

_{[He was running after his stepfather. They'd all been arguing about something, he doesn't remember what but it all changed from routine to crisis when George yelled he'd had enough and packed up his bag. Jim was yelling.]}

Where are you going!?

As far as I can get!

_{[Frank sneered, tailing George off the property.]}

Which won't be far enough. You think I give a damn. WHAT do you WANT Jimmy!?

.... I just don't want my brother to go.

Well no one cares what you want. You're no one. And I asked you to wash the car.

_{[He turned to George with another sneer.]}

Go.

_{[Frank left and George talked to Jim.]}

I can't stay in this house anymore, Jimmy. Mom has no what idea what Uncle Frank is like when she's not around. And that's not even his car you're washing, it's DAD'S car...

_{[Jim followed his brother down their dirt road out of the farmlands. He didn't yet believe his brother was really going. He was going to change his mind here in a second...but he kept saying goodbye]}

You'll be fine. You're a good kid, you get good grades, you always follow every stupid order...

Do you really have to leave?

I can't be a Kirk in that house... show me how to do that and I'll stay.

_{[George still left, Jim washed the car but he found its keys... something twisted in him that day. Amongst the bitter betrayal and uselessness of washing this piece of crap there was something he had to say. He was sick of obeying when the things he loved were ripped from him. He had to prove to George how to 'be a Kirk' and while for hours he'd been dreaming fruitlessly about how to fill that need for his brother... he suddeny got an idea...

He remembered not being able to steer correctly at first, being barely tall enough to reach the pedals as he sped the antique car out onto the country roads. He passed his brother and screamed his name, waving. He blew the rag-top off and hung up on his furious step-father... and drove the red beauty off a cliff.

He returned to the house with a police officer and that night Frank made him take a bath in ice for punishment. His mother never heard of the bath and his brother didn't return. But Jim has tasted rebellious freedom.]}

[All he wanted to do was be Spock, but no, it was never good enough. Instead, he strove to be a perfect Vulcan, completely ignoring his human heritage.
Well... at least he tried.]

I presume you've prepared new insults for today.

[The three Vulcan youths approached Spock... His face showed no surprise, no nothing but inside he was...

....sad. He tried his best to ignore it, but he was so tired of their efforts to humiliate him day after day. Why wouldn't they stop? Couldn't he just live in peace?]

Affirmative.

[Spock sighed... not again.] This is your thirty-fifth attempt to elicit an emotional response from me.

[The others didn't care, they never did. They either ignored him or teased him. Personally, Spock wished they would just ignore him.... he wished everyone would ignore him. Why could he just not exist? It would be so much easier.]

You're neither Human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this universe.
Look at his Human eyes. They look sad, don't they?
Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimuli.
[Spock didn't care... they were right. He didn't belong... he never did.]
He is a traitor you know, your father. For marrying her, that Human whore.

[White anger streaked through his senses as he cried out in fury, knocking the other boy to the ground. It was there, in front of witnesses that he proved that he truly didn't belong as he took his frustration out on this bully. He didn't care anymore...
....especially since shortly after that, his father all but proved to him that love didn't exist. There was only logic.]

_{[Jim watched in quiet understanding. He knew how it felt to be the outsider.]}

Tell me they cried, tell me he cried illogically when you hit him~ They got what they deserved, Spock.

_{[Spock belonged in this world, he was a diamond in the rough. Jim knew this feeling so well he wished he could just.... show it.]}

He did... but it did not bring me satisfaction. Not as much as you seemed to gain from driving the car off the cliff.

[There weren't many available 'outlets' on Vulcan. Then again... Spock could see Jim's self-destructive route clearly the moment he took those keys. Or perhaps the moment George walked away. Everyone left in the end...
...and it had started at such a young age.]

I will not leave you Ashaya... You did not deserve to be alone.

[Perhaps they could show each other how much they belonged.]

Maybe you're better than me then. You're more noble.

_{[Spock didn't take joy in the pain of others and Jim had to respect that... he had to have a hard time trying to get his angst out. Impossible even. But he just poured his energy into being an awesome vulcan and Jim couldn't be more proud...]}

Jim didn't sleep for three days after George disappeared. His mother cried and Frank yelled about it but Jim was a focused little soul. He had severe punishment for his crimes against the car but despite that, the cop wanted to let him off easy. He was given a slap on the wrist for his first offense and released to look for his brother. Jim looked over the entire city of Riverside. He had a network set up through their school for George... no...Sam. He called him by his given name to people but he always yelled Sam when he was searching some back-water camp site. He expected his brother to be living in some shanty somewhere... as if his brother were that stupid.

It took two weeks for Jim to realize Sam wasn't coming back and he'd learned how to run away for good. His mother continued to ask around and finally put in a missing person's report but Jim knew it was too late. He went home that day immediately after school and he looked up the surrounding cities, trying to find where his brother would go first. He tried his best... to travel along the train lines and find his brother but Frank stopped him the first time, a social worker the second, and his mother the third. It was only her tears that made him pause that last time... she was on her knees begging for him to stay put, saying she couldn't lose one more family member.

Jim felt like he was in a world all his own then. Frank didn't care, the social worker didn't understand their life and that wasn't his fault. He was doing his job. But his mother had failed Sam... Jim realized in that moment at eight years old that his mother, and all adults were weak people just the same as children. He knew he had more strength than his mother, she was an anvil to him, holding him back. He had drive and a resistance to tears that his mother simply lacked, or just lost when his father died. He remained at his mother's side, knowing it was the difference between seeing his brother again and not. But he knew one thing. Wherever Sam ended up, he could take care of himself... but his mother really would fall apart if Jim left her. He went to her and let her hold him tight the rest of the evening and weep when she felt like it. Frank was nicer for a month and then things returned to normal only now Jim learned just how much abuse Sam was shielding him from.

[Spock watched Jim's memories... seeing his feelings swarm around him and consume him. To know that as soon as George had left that Jim was condemned to a prison that should have been his home.
But that place was never really a home.

It explained so much... that Jim was always searching, looking for something, or someone. To think that after all of this time, his mate was finally able to be more or less settled on the Enterprise... but that his home would always be with him. And Spock swore that he would be there for him...

...to provide him with a home that he would want to go to and know that he is welcomed and loved.]

_{[It isn't a place he enjoys. But he made the best of it, looking for a way out. At some point he gave up but he had what he wanted now and he wasn't going to let it go... he was searching for a very long time but he's home now... Go on, show him something, Spock... he's ready for anything.]}

[As a child, what could Spock do to ensure his place within a society that did not accept him? He would prove himself...

....even if it meant dying in the process.
Kahs-wan was a survival test that was left over from the days before logic. This ensured that when Vulcans came to a certain age, they would be tested on their strength and skills in the wilderness. The Vulcans who took this test were adolescents on the brink of adulthood. Spock was still a child.
Spock decided that this would be the test he would go on... five days in the Vulcan desert alone, with no supplies.

He left a note.

At the time this seemed like a wise decision, a way to show everyone that he was truly Vulcan, not some sort of freak with a human weakness.
What he didn't know was that his beloved pet I-Chaya had followed him. The only creature in existence that did not give him 'that look'... the one that implied that there was something wrong with him, either mentally or physically. He couldn't stand those stares. And I-Chaya? Didn't judge him....
...he loved I-Chaya.

In hindsight, the Le-Matya would have killed him if not for his beloved animal... but part of him wished he could have just died out there in the wilderness with him. Instead, he lived on... and passed the test.
He gained nothing, except his mother's tears, and his father's confusion.]

Edited 2013-08-23 04:12 (UTC)

_{[Jim again knows that feeling. The animal that didn't judge you and listened when you talked. He knew that precious bond that could tide you over through the darkest of times... and Jim cheered Spock on]}

You're like vulcan Hercules!

_{[He was eagerly watching the images of the desert and his own thoughts of vulcan emerged. The one time he'd ever been on the planet... as it died... but he watched. He focused on the desert and the sentient plants. And the great beast Spock called a pet.]}

Damn I want a giant saber toothed BEAR. That thing's badass

_{[So badass that it destroyed that plant monster for Spock... in exchange for its life. Jim was stunned for a bit, then bitterly admits that he should have known. The world like to snuff out joy like that. How alone Spock must have been after that, having only lost something from a horrifying experience. It reminds him of Tarsus...]}

[A small amount of amusement flowed through the bond.]

I assure you that I am no such thing... though I appreciate the sentiment.

And yes... Selhats are quite noble creatures. They are known for their extreme loyalty.

[The Vulcan considers the moments he had shared with his pet... and cherished each one.]

I believe it is your turn Ashaya.

_{[Jim wants to know more about the animal and listens in to Spock's moments... soaking in that feeling of love and adoration, that friendship only an animal can bestow...]}

Right right.... my turn.

The following years Jim behaved just enough to get along with Frank. The man started to joke with him but all his lines were repeated phrases and they weren't even very funny. They were stupid bits of humor and Jim honestly knew he was smarter than this man already... people who weren't smart became bullies instead, he figured. To make sure people don't notice how dumb they are and because they can't do anything else.

Still, Frank wasn't important. Frank was only someone he had to endure. And he did. For five long years he did and finally he was sent off elsewhere. Jim wanted to go to Tarsus. Alone. His school thought he was an excellent candidate academically and wished he'd be someone else's problem for a while. Frank was all for sending him to be exiled on another planet at least for a while, and his mother... well she took about two months' convincing but finally he was headed to this planet with relief in his heart and adventure on his mind. He could start fresh here, even if just for a little while.

When he got there it was everything he wished it would be. People were kind and welcoming, smart, pretty, the color were brighter he swore. The food tasted better. The air was cleaner. He was on his own adventure and there was no Frank and no anvil-mother to weigh him down. He met Kevin Riley in school there and they made a lasting friendship. He was in his house nearly every night. He had a dorm provided by the school but it was boring. He had great times with Kevin and better meals with his family. Jim felt for a time like he could imagine what a family was like... what his family might be like.

Then the food shortage started. Response teams were mentioned in the news as fighting the fungus with various treatments, all with valiant hope and all of the citizens' faith. No one really talked about it at first. It was handled. Until it wasn't. Then there were whispers between the adults and Jim felt only slightly nervous. These adults were different. They'd handle it, there was backup supplies already en route...

That confidence was a perfect backdrop to his experience with Kevin and his parents watching the news when Kodos' voice sounded over the scheduled programming, announcing the food shortage. Jim kept expecting it to be a joke. Even Kevin's parents didn't take it seriously at first. But officers made regular patrols after that. No one roamed freely after that. There were checkpoints all over the colony manned by guards inquiring one's destination, purpose, and estimated length of visit. Jim was advised to avoid various places including the domestic district that Kevin lived in. But as the food ran out, society began to decay very quickly... Jim learned a lot in a short amount of time.

Paranoia, greed, and self-preservation fueled everything from then on as if good will and generosity were only stage shows people put on to attract emigrants to this planet. Jim felt himself a stranger once more in a surreal world where neighbors quarreled over slices of bread and singular vegetables. Teachers abandoned their classes and finally there were the promised executions the voice on the tv has spoken of.

Slowly his classroom emptied. Children didn't show up or did so in tears claiming they'd been orphaned the night before. More and more of them crowded the school dormitory as parents and guardians on the list were taken away one by one. Officers came to each door nightly bringing packages. Some were food. Some were handcuffs and bags to take people away with, some were weapons. Everyone answered their doors in fear, or some not at all. The body count rose, the dorm was too crowded. He ran one night and darted to and fro to avoid detection from the patrol....

He remembers hearing Kevin's screams as he was taken away in the street in front of his house.

“JIM!! JIIIIIM!” he had tears running down his face. Two bodies were being tossed into the back of a van while Kevin was being carted off to the school dorm. Jim hid in a bush but was stunned as he watched Mr. and Mrs. Riley's bodies disappear into the vehicle. Kevin was struggling and only managed. “JIM JIM RUN!” he obeyed. He didn't know if he was tailed by any other guards but if he was... no one found him in the empty barn he found.

He hid in there for days... laying awake replaying Kevin's screams in his mind, remembering the 'thunk' noise as his parents hit the inside of the van. He wondered where Kevin was going... but he worried more about where HE'D go if he was found.

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watching a movie with the folks~ I'll be online later~

What movie?

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Memories are gooooo

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