K/S Hospital Scene bc Into Darkness was so K/S TASTIC

[done_in_3]

It was so sudden. He woke up with a flash, bright lights, soft sounds, a bed, he was alive?? But he'd died in the chamber...in engineering. Spock and he had exchanged that vulcan hand-thing whatever the hell it was. He'd died, he was dead. Was this heaven? Holy....

No. Bones was here nagging at him.

"Oh don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead. You've been out cold for two weeks."

He was so...taken aback. What had happened? He just remembered being in the locked chamber watching Spock shed tears, glimmering tears of anguish as he slowly died of radiation poisoning... his heart lurched at the memory. He didn't know the vulcan was even capable...

And then Spock was in the room, approaching him. Suddenly... everything else was forgotten. Hell even Bones was gone in his mind, though he could hear the doctor put in a "You know Uhura and I had something to do with it too."

"....Thanks, Spock... for saving my life..."
 

Comments

[done_in_3]

_{[He forgave Spock. He knows his love was only meaning it kindly.]}

It's not your fault... it's not really mine either... One more. And then it's over... I'm sorry you have to hear this...

_{[He took a steadying breath, closed his eyes, then began softly almost as if he were reciting it. Or as if he had to focus to remember the details. All of them rushed together in a hastened need to be smudged into oblivion.]}

The next time he came I... I had hidden in a pile of hay. It was the only place I could lay without pain. He found me and dragged me out into the middle of the barn. He didn't have anything with him and I thought maybe he wasn't going to do a trade-off this time.

_{He shook his head unconsciously}

That was the only time... he ever tied me up. I tried to get away from him and he tied my hands together over my head and tied me to a support beam in the barn. When I was trying to get away I smacked him kind of on accident. I thought maybe that was punishment for it but I started screaming and he started hitting me. And that's the way that whole thing played out. He hit me... the whole time. I was bleeding from everywhere, my nose, my mouth... And he made use of both ends of me too. I thought it had to be over soon. I kept thinking "This is about how long it took last time, he'll be done soon." and I thought that over and over... I started whining so he covered my mouth with some tape or something when he wasn't 'using' it.

I think I blacked out at some point, but when I woke up I thought it had only been a few seconds since he was still over me.

I remember when it was over and he untied me I didn't even have the strength to run. I couldn't even move my arms or legs. He grabbed me and slammed my head on the ground, he kicked me in my ribs a couple times, I spat blood up and he sort of stopped after that. He said something about 'I should do what he says and we won't have problems' or some shit... I left the barn then. I'd stayed in there to avoid getting caught and killed but as soon as I could get up I fled.

It was dusk outside... I remember he had come to me around noon. I hid in this car that was all broken, ripped up and I crawled inside... I slept in there and no one thought to look for me, not even him. I did the math, I knew how to tell the time from the position of the sun and my fingers. It had been something like five hours.

_{[He feels a little sick inside, his face is pale just talking about that one.]}

[spohkh]

[Spock did shudder at that point....
He had stopped stroking Jim's legs. What could he say? What could he do? He knows that Jim has dealt with this for man years, but still.... couldn't he do something?

The Vulcan finally managed to croak out a question.]

What... what happened after that?

[Did Kodos find him again? Was that when the starfleet ships finally came? Did he get away?
Spock's mind was reeling with questions and feelings he couldn't define. His hands lay hot and heavy on Jim's legs... immobile as his eyes shifted over Jim's form.]

[done_in_3]

...After that the reinforcements came. People were everywhere. I woke up to people cutting the door off the car I hid in. That hole I crawled into wasn't big enough for an adult. They pulled me out... brought me to a doctor. She could tell what had happened. She was really nice... I remember thinking it was crazy how nice she was to me because I knew she was swamped with people. Even the reinforcements weren't enough to handle the wounded, sick, and starving. She should have been impatient but she was really great. The people who were the worst off were fed intravenously and the rest were given solid food. They put me on an IV, I'd lost something like 30 pounds. The doctor asked who did this to me and I told her. Would it make me feel better if I knew Kodos had been killed, she said. Sure, I said.

They'd found him and killed him in the capital building apparently, all they found was a charred corpse. I felt a bit better, I suppose. I asked her if she had to make a report anyway since he was dead. She said she didn't have to but she should. I said I didn't want to remember it any more than I had to.

She made me promise I was going to get help when I went home. She gave me her number and some book titles to help me. She couldn't really follow up with me, I didn't have my I.D. anymore and I wasn't going to tell her what awas on it. There was so much going on I did my best to disappear into the chaos... I wanted to leave everything behind on Tarsus.

I came home, Mom wanted to put me in therapy but I didn't want to talk about it and she didn't know about me and Kodos. I thought I could bury it.

...

_{[Gently he withdraws his legs from Spock's lap, and turns around, laying his head there instead.]}

I had nightmares for years. I still do sometimes.

[spohkh]

[Spock was silent for a long time.... but he wasn't still. He ran his long fingers through Jim's wheat-gold hair, massaging the scalp.
What could he say? He wasn't going to be one of those would-be counselors and tell Jim that it wasn't his fault, that he was brave....that he shouldn't feel shame for what he did to survive... or anything that he should or shouldn't do.
Jim was a survivor... and he had dealt with this alone.

Granted, dealing with such a catastrophic event alone probably wasn't the wisest decision in the world... however, who could Jim go to that he could relate with? There was no one.
And now, miracles of all miracles, Jim was willing to share his mind with him. And perhaps everything depended on how he responded...

Running his hands along Jim's temples, the Vulcan made eye contact with those beautiful blue orbs and finally opened his mouth.]

Thank you.

[The bond opened up, stronger than it's ever been and Spock showered his love upon his mate. He accepted Jim for all his faults and would never think differently of him. He admired Jim for trusting Spock with such traumatic memories.... Spock's love was warm.]

[done_in_3]

Thanks? For what?

<sub>[He got comfortable in Spock's lap and closed his eyes. He'd just woken up but this was so nice...

He is hesitant to accept that love from anyone, but he'll accept it from Spock. He'd wanted it for so very long... he'd died for it in a way at the hands of the radiation on Enterprise...He'd yearned for someone to just understand him and Spock was unlike anyone he'd ever met. He had a chance of making it in Jim's mind... Jim trusts Spock more than anyone else in the universe.]</sub>

You know more than anyone else about this now... besides him.

[spohkh]

For trusting me.
You always have a choice Jim when it comes to us and our relationship. The fact that you are going to allow me to see these memories is quite... humbling.

[Spock continues to stroke his fingers through Jim's hair.]

[done_in_3]

Humbling?

I think it's humbling to talk about it. I'm grateful you listened to it...

I'm sorry you had to hear all that.

_{[He shifted, then lay with his eyes closed.]}

Thanks for listening...

[spohkh]

Thanks are not needed Ashaya....

Do you desire to sleep at this time?

[Spock continues to trail his fingers over Jim's scalp.
He would stay here for as long as Jim needed.]

[done_in_3]

I just woke up an hour ago....

_{[But that felt so good...]}

tell me, this is the kind of bond you had with T'Pring, right? What we have right now?

[spohkh]

[Spock thought about that for a moment...]

It is almost blasphemy to consider what I had with her, the bond, the same as thing that I have with you.
Certainly, we had an initial bond... a link that established our intention of 'marrying' each other someday. However, she kept me out of her mind, and I kept her out of mine... without that vital feedback, not to mention the fact that we were not mentally compatible at all, the bond was left to wither and die.

[Spock's eyes went dark for a moment, as if remembering... then shook his head.]

[done_in_3]

Alright well you didn't get on with her as well as you do with me.

Tell me more about it? Was she a total bitch? Did you ever... dream about someone else? Even fantasize?

_{[And massage his scalp of course. Oh he could fall asleep like this if you kept it up. Though he doubted you'd be complaining. You'd be overjoyed to see him rest, wouldn;t you?]}

[spohkh]

[Spock breathed....

There was a Vulcan that hoped that he would find someone. Did he dream? Of course he did, even if that meant he was giving in to a human failing. He dreamed of a being somewhere out in the universe that would love him for who he was.
His mother did his best, tried to give him a good home and approval... but it wasn't enough. To find his other half, to have someone who completely understood him...
....it was fairy dust and pipe dreams. Spock tried hard, very hard not to allow himself to get set up for disappointment. He didn't want T'Pring... but he wanted someone. The fact that she didn't want him.... with a rejection that consumed his side of the bond, it left him breathless and in pain for months after that.]

Of course I did.

[done_in_3]

<sub>[Jim took that in, then felt sorrow for Spock. He was also empathetic. He knew that loneliness. He wondered if he'd ever have someone he could lean on as a true partner rather than a fuck buddy. He never thought it would happen, he was sure he'd die alone.

He understands what Spock is saying. He feared that his hybrid status made him an undesirable. T'Pring only confirmed his fears and Spock was left humiliated and alone for the rest of forever...

But he reassured Spock that while those days were painful, they were over. He had him now. And Jim would die before he left Spock... in fact that's likely the only way he would leave his beloved.

He opened his eyes and reached up to touch Spock's face. Then slowly he sat up, leaning in to kiss him.]</sub>

Well here I am~

[spohkh]

[Spock was about to warn Jim about his ribs when those lips were on his....
The Vulcan framed Jim's face... kissing him again. The joy that he felt every time he was around Jim was truly breathtaking. The acceptance and love... it's all he ever wanted.
All he ever wanted was Jim.

Spock smiled his small, half-smile... speaking against his T'hy'la's lips.]

My hero.

[done_in_3]

_{[Was Spock being serious? Probably. Spock hadn't mastered sarcasm quite yet. Jim smiled against his mouth then pulled away.]}

There's only one thing you need to know. You are nothing if not loved with me... and I can't overstate that.

[spohkh]

And I you Ashaya.

[Of course Spock was being completely serious. Wasn't he always? The Vulcan enjoyed the impromptu make-out session, continuing to card his fingers through Jim's hair.
Perhaps this is what teenagers felt like?]

[done_in_3]

<sub>[Yes, teens were like this only they were much more insecure and naive. they were adults and knew they were getting into something serious and treated it appropriately. They also had the advantage of not breaking up to look forward to.

Jim tugged Spock down on the bed with him, hands circling around his body. He couldn't get enough of his flavor. He didn't want to honestly, he enjoyed thirsting for him.]</sub>

[spohkh]

[Spock wanted... always wanted Jim. But, there was one thing to consider.
The Vulcan placed his hands lightly on Jim's shoulders, and gently pushed back...]

Ashaya, your ribs....

[The last thing Spock wanted to do was hurt Jim... again.]

[done_in_3]

Hm...

_{[He sighed, looking a touch resigned. He had promised not to push it... Spock had been through enough this week.]}

Tomorrow I can get up. Tomorrow I'll be fine. Is a day really gonna be that bad? You know Bones probably padded my recovery time knowing I'd think I'm clever and break it.

[spohkh]

[Spock seems to be engaged in an inner battle....
...and one side obviously won.]

Would you be able to content yourself with oral stimulation? Nothing more? You cannot over exert yourself.

[Oral stimulation... that totally meant kissing, right? But he was also giving in... somewhat.]

[done_in_3]

Huh?

Oh _{[he chuckled]} no no no...

I didn't mean to have sex, I just wanted to lay down, my ribs are starting to strain from sitting up... c'mere. Gimme a kiss...

_{[He WANTS to have sex but he knows he can't. He promised... and he knows he wouldn't be able to get through it without pain.]}

[spohkh]

[Spock blinks... misscommunication for the win.

With a small huff, the Vulcan settles himself beside Jim... and places a small kiss on Jim's lips. If he was human, he'd be blushing big time from embarrassment.]

[done_in_3]

<sub>[Miscommunication? What miscommunication? You must be confused by the power of his prowess as a tender and knowing lover. Nevermind all that about being embarrassed Spock. Just... let Jim sooth you the way only your t'hy'la can.

Tender kisses, sweet caresses, loving embraces.... time just seemed to slip by.]</sub>

[spohkh]

[Spock loses himself in the kisses and the embraces...
It's amazing how tactile he's allowed himself to become since finding his love with Jim. He wondered briefly about his parents....
... Did his father ever touch his mother like this? Part of him hoped he did, because no one in love should go without this. Then again... perhaps it was thin hope... it was Sarek after all.
Or maybe he was the typical child that was creeped out at thinking about his parents like that...


But how did he get here? How did he let a human get past all his defenses? Then again... against his T'hy'la, there were no walls. Spock did wonder if he was upholding his race's practices and principles...

....it's been such an emotional rollercoaster for the past two weeks, he's hardly felt like a Vulcan at all. But... he does feel like a man in love. And that's definitely something.]

Happy 1300~ /party blower

[done_in_3]

<sub>[Oh Spock, you are so cute when you get like this. Jim listened and was patient, watching as Spock sorted out his thoughts.

He thinks Spock is a fine vulcan. He is a vulcan therefore whatever he does is vulcan by definition. Forget what they think, they only took him in conditionally, with the understanding that it was a pity invite to their elitist club. They weren't exactly the vulcans Jim would like to see emulated. Spock was much more his style. Empathetic yet reserved. Patient yet decisive. Withdrawn and yet involved in every detail of his work... Jim loved Spock not just for who he was but for what he did...

He wishes he could fix his uneasiness.]</sub>