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It was so sudden. He woke up with a flash, bright lights, soft sounds, a bed, he was alive?? But he'd died in the chamber...in engineering. Spock and he had exchanged that vulcan hand-thing whatever the hell it was. He'd died, he was dead. Was this heaven? Holy....
No. Bones was here nagging at him.
"Oh don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead. You've been out cold for two weeks."
He was so...taken aback. What had happened? He just remembered being in the locked chamber watching Spock shed tears, glimmering tears of anguish as he slowly died of radiation poisoning... his heart lurched at the memory. He didn't know the vulcan was even capable...
And then Spock was in the room, approaching him. Suddenly... everything else was forgotten. Hell even Bones was gone in his mind, though he could hear the doctor put in a "You know Uhura and I had something to do with it too."
"....Thanks, Spock... for saving my life..."
No. Bones was here nagging at him.
"Oh don't be so melodramatic, you were barely dead. You've been out cold for two weeks."
He was so...taken aback. What had happened? He just remembered being in the locked chamber watching Spock shed tears, glimmering tears of anguish as he slowly died of radiation poisoning... his heart lurched at the memory. He didn't know the vulcan was even capable...
And then Spock was in the room, approaching him. Suddenly... everything else was forgotten. Hell even Bones was gone in his mind, though he could hear the doctor put in a "You know Uhura and I had something to do with it too."
"....Thanks, Spock... for saving my life..."
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Date: 2013-07-24 02:16 am (UTC)I really missed you today.
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Date: 2013-07-24 02:19 am (UTC)The Vulcan framed Jim's face and deepened the kiss.]
It would be accurate to state that I too miss your presence.
[Understatement of the century. Spock wanted to drink him in.
There was almost a certain desperation in Spock as he crowded Jim against the door... kissing him with everything he had.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 02:39 am (UTC)perfect dessert.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 02:46 am (UTC)With a few tugs Spock had them on the bed and he continue to just kiss Jim.
He sucked on Jim's lower lip, drawing it into his mouth where he nibbled on it gently. His hands sought out Jim's, tangling their fingers together.
A soft purr rumbling through Spock's frame.
After being told that he was not good enough for Jim...he wanted nothing more than to assure himself of the love that they shared.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:09 am (UTC)It had been a whole week, he'd had Spock all to himself. It felt like two days. Jim was still grasping that this adonis he'd yearned for was really so eager to be his exclusively. What he wouldn't have done to have even a taste of him then. Never hoping he could have the whole thing...
This gentle kissing, loving in its own right, passionate in a very deep way... This was something he never had with anyone else. He just synched with Spock in a way no one else could...
He'd died already for this man. What the fuck was he waiting for? He hummed against Spock's mouth.]
Mnn... if we were bonded... could I talk to you now?
[he kissed him again]
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:20 am (UTC)...only to travel up the same path and begin the whole process over again. The Vulcan explored that beautiful mouth with an extreme focus.
At Jim's question Spock paused... He breathed as he looked down at Jim with lips tinged red from kissing.]
Bonding... has various stages Jim. The initial bond is the weakest but we would be able to determine each other's surface thoughts and emotions.
[Spock illogically felt as though the air was sucked out of the room... why was Jim asking? Weren't they kissing? Can Spock go back to kissing now?]
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:25 am (UTC)Could we?
[He slid a hand up Spock's side, up to cup his face as he reached up to kiss him]
Could I tell you I think you're beautiful when you're meditating? That I love the way you taste?
[He kissed him softly]
I don't like taking time away to do that.
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:30 am (UTC)Jim... wanted to bond with him?
The Vulcan seemed to shut down... not really believing what he heard. His ears were buzzing, and a rather curious sensation was fluttering around the area where his heart resided.]
We...
[Spock swallowed and tried again, his eyes wide with amazement.]
We would have to stay in close proximity to each other. But... yes... you could do that.
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:33 am (UTC)Well that's hardly a punishment. That's more of a reward, I can do that. What else do we have to do?
[He reached up to stroke Spock's cheek, then even farther up to rub the tip of his ear between two fingers.]
You're... nervous? Anxious? I can't tell... I want to take the guess work out of it. So come on.
[He smiled.]
You asked me if I'd be your bondmate and I said yes. I have yet to make good on that promise.
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:42 am (UTC)Ashaya... Truly? You wish to become my bondmate?
But...
...there is much to consider Ashaya. Do you not remember what my father said to us? You are not a telepath. To bond would be to change your physiology... a process that could take a year if not more. You will be physically effected, your mind attempting to create new neural pathways to allow the bond to take root. Since we are T'hy'la, this process could be much worse than what my mother went through...
...you... we should...
[Spock hesitates... a pained expression passing through his eyes.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:48 am (UTC)[He closed the gap between them and kisses Spock soundly. Oh shut up, stuttering vulcan. He's not going to die. He might be a mess for a while but he's not going to wither into ash.]
If we're t'hy'la then I'll make it. I have to... I've already died once with so many regrets... this isn't going to be one, Spock. Don't let this be something we regret later.
We have a window of time for me to get over the worst of it. If it gets bad we can withdraw. But it's now or never... I've already wasted a week thinking about it.
If I die not knowing what this is like Spock... I.... I'll regret that forever.
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Date: 2013-07-24 03:53 am (UTC)To bond... to bond with Jim is the only thing he truly wants. But... after what Winona told him, should he? Should he not wait until he is more sufficiently prepared for Jim's emotions?
But then... how could he go back on his offer to bond? Would that not harm Jim? Spock was so conflicted...
..but then.. he wasn't. If he was to truly do what was right, then it would be to bond them when Jim wanted them to. He could never tell Jim no... not for this.
Spock's hand trailed down the side of Jim's face...a tingling sensation traveling up his arm...
It was almost as if asking permission...]
If this is too much we can break it up into tags. I know I godmodded more than I was permitted
Date: 2013-07-24 05:34 am (UTC)[He closed his eyes at the sensation... and leaned into the touch. They were dropped into pitch black, warm darkness that was comforting much more than it was foreboding. Jim didn't know what or where this was and yet he didn't feel threatened. He felt at peace. He felt home.
Casually he moved about, seeing nothing but feeling a great presence around him. He moved about so easily, of course he didn't have a body here. What was this place?
Suddenly there was another entity. A light... it was Spock. Not that Jim could have identified him outside of the circumstances... He'd never seen a psyche before. Formless and yet having an ambiguous shape to meet said psyche's purposes. Spock was as black as the inky darkness surrounding them. His shapeless form coiled around him. Smoky tendrils rose from him shimmering blue and purple in the light. Soft and almost velvety like a feather or moss... wait. Light? What light? It was... him? He examined himself, finding his own form was a bright gold, shining like a beacon. How did he... why was he... shouldn't he be black too?
It hit Jim then that perhaps Spock's color was attributed to something else. Spock looked almost as though he was part of this darkness that stretched forever. Almost indistinguishable from the inky black, Spock fit in where Jim... well he was unmistakable. Was that because he was human? Because he wasn't telepathic?
This is Spock's world. His psychic 'stage'. The place where he meditates, the place where he mind melds, the place everything happens... Jim suddenly yearned to see it all but he was unable to move far. Spock was still coiling around him and he could sense fondness and love flowing out and it was now that Jim could appreciate telepathy. These feelings were so clear, crisp, so intense... it was almost as if feelings humans felt were done so through cellophane or gloves. What Spock was delivering so effortlessly was complete emotion, uninhibited and unmitigated. Jim drank it in, offering his own feelings of elation and relief. He was glad they did this.]
I am pleased you feel that way, Ashaya.
[Spock's voice wasn't even present. Jim simply knew his thought. Sprung from his own mind as if organically. As if he were the progenitor of it. This was so unique, so foreign and simultaneously so fascinating. It was like birthing Spock's own thoughts in his mind. They didn't feel foreign and yet he knew that they were. He couldn't fathom a response to his mate. He was simply overwhelmed, excited, and of course impressed. Jim was like a child discovering telepathy, flaunting his discovery to someone well seasoned in its use. Spock was more than patient with Jim's adjustment.
His dark form still swirled around Jim's, only now did the captain notice they were becoming strangely attached. Small gold threads springing from seemingly nowhere were tethering him and Spock together. Were they supposed to be tied together like this? He wanted to move around... but it didn't hurt. It was actually nice. He could sense Spock's emotions with more clarity, as if somehow they were under magnification.
And Spock had been scared~ Hah! See? No harm done, he feels fine!
Only... almost as quickly Jim sobered. As the bond formed itself shallowly, he could sense the depth and breadth the entire thing had. Spock had said this was just the beginning and Jim believed him. He just had no concept of how mammoth it would be. It was like discovering fire, then the sunset. Like learning a note, then hearing music. Finding water and then the ocean. He could weep at the majesty of it but it was hollow. Not fulfilled yet, it was just a hint of what could be. He paused, feeling the unentered depth the bond promised. Like a cave yet to be explored. Could they fill this bond? Could they control it or would it just control him? Spock would surely be fine but Jim wondered if he would ever be strong enough to handle what felt like the strongest thing he'd ever encountered. Bar none.
The threads stopped, halted in their work. Jim seemed to become alert. Why had it stopped? Was it because of him?
No no, he wants it! He wants to see what's in that bond.... he wants to see how far he can go, even if he can't manage the whole thing. The little threads continued, thousands of them between him and Spock. It was shallow... but it was a great beginning. He could feel himself fill with warmth, liquid fire, euphoria, unending loyalty. The threads began to stretch out... pulling away from Jim all at once. Spock too seemed as though he was stretching out, far away from him. Jim reached for him but couldn't... yet he felt Spock with him regardless. The threads stretched into long lines of light, then rather suddenly they sprang into single pin-pricks. Slowly the area around them lit up. As if Jim were a flame in a dank room. He could see around him, little shines of light like stars. Thousands all twinkling gold.]
Spock... what happened? Where did you go?... You're so far away...
[he reached out, wanting to hold his mate's psyche once more.]
I can feel you... but you're too far, I can't reach.
[It felt like Spock was everywhere around him. As if he were a ball dropped into water or thrown through air.]
Wow~ This is kind of epic! XD
Date: 2013-07-24 03:06 pm (UTC)But he couldn't do that because that would seriously damage Jim. With a shudder and a sigh and Vulcan finally distanced himself.
Upon hearing Jim's please for closeness, he reached out...]
Ashaya, this is the first stage in bonding. To go any closer at this time could cause irrevocable damage...
[Spock cast tendrils out towards Jim's essence... the sun that he had always imagined... and surrounded him with warmth and love. It was that cool glass of water that he has been waiting for his entire life.... a missing piece.
Spock was in total awe...]
You are entirely too tempting Ashaya... I must end the meld so that you may further adjust to the bond. Please prepare yourself...
Didn't expect that?
Date: 2013-07-24 05:26 pm (UTC)[He felt the warmth and love... and the awe. Spock was in awe? What did he do? Was he impressive in that he didn't simply wilt under the bond's prowess? Well that was an achievement in his book too.
He is disappointed but agrees when the bond has to end. He can go farther! Honest! He wants to get as far as he can up this mountain, because it looks nigh undoable.... wait who was he kidding? He'd totally do it. He'll get this bond under control and he'll grow to fulfill it.
He acquiesced to the cessation of the meld. And once out of it he paused, feeling around in his mind for that sensation once more. To be able to feel Spock as lucidly as before. When he did he smiled... and drew Spock in for a kiss.]
XD You're like a box of chocolates~ <3
Date: 2013-07-24 06:05 pm (UTC)...wondrous feeling.
Spock gladly allowed himself to be pulled into the kiss, purring loudly in obvious contentment. He had found his mate! His T'hy'la agreed to bond with him! They were bonded!
Spock's mind curled around the bond, loving its existence. Gently, he prodded at it...]
Can you feel that T'hy'la?
[Amusement and happiness fluttered from Spock as he shared it with Jim.]
Oh alright Forrest
Date: 2013-07-24 06:39 pm (UTC)He was, however, content to speak to his partner without words. That simple impression of thought took a bit of concentration but it was simple enough. It would just take adjustment. Oh! The bond! He felt it almost like another limb. Psychic sensation was strangely close to physical. He imagined himself 'tugging' on the bond playfully.]
I can~
Can you feel me too?
[His need for carnal relations... where was this coming from and why was he still clothed? Wordlessly he urged Spock to take control once more, to make love to him.]
...I'll be a good boy... I promise.
[No... episodes like last night.]
:p
Date: 2013-07-24 07:02 pm (UTC)...but he believed that Jim understood by the way he was tugging on his clothes.
The Vulcan heard Jim's sentiment, that there would be no repeats of last night... Yes, this is what Spock wanted, just them... no demons here. No darkness to chase away.
Efficiently, the Vulcan slipped his hands under Jim's shirt, and pulled it off over his head... doing the same to his own.]
I can feel you Ashaya... as I will for the rest of time.
[Romantic bastard.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 07:20 pm (UTC)[He could sense Spock's relief and he mirrored it with his own. He didn't like the demons any more than Spock did. He yearned for a way to make them stop but right now he's sure they won't come around. He felt safe here... his safe place was rooted in his mind forever now. Clothes came off and it was as though he was already felt pleasure through his body. His hands swept over Spock's chest... and Jim paused, examining this sensation. He felt Spock under his hands but an entirely different arousal was present in his mind, reaching for the bond, stretching out to touch Spock's psyche.
He understood nothing save that he wanted more.
The rest of time? There weren't any divorces on Vulcan? One time only thing, eh... He's satisfied with that. That only means that Spock really is his forever.
He licked his lips and pressed his mouth to Spock's throat.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 07:31 pm (UTC)And the fact that Jim was a human... a being whose very emotions lived on the surface, vibrate and constantly moving. Spock's own emotions were seated like the roots of a tree...
....but now that the connection was made, the waves of his feelings were pouring out, only to be responded in kind by Jim's own ocean of emotion.
Spock shuddered as the bond created a continuous loop of the pleasure they both felt... each feeling the other intimately. With a small gasp, Spock realized that his pants had become way to uncomfortable.
Using the same calculated grace as when he removed their shirts, Spock removed their shoes and pants, finally baring them to each other. The Vulcan moved back so that he could look at Jim... marveling at the expanse of golden skin that was his... his....... The carnal part of Spock wanted to growl and yell from the rooftops for all to hear that Jim was his... and no one was to hurt or touch him.
But that would have been illogical, right?
Spock's hands drifted low on Jim's abdomen... stroking small circles into the skin there.]
Parted from me and never parted... never and always touching and touched...
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Date: 2013-07-24 08:00 pm (UTC)The triumph at having bonded... Jim wondered just how much of his desire Spock hadn't made clear before this happened. Had he said no would Spock have been secretly miserable?
He sighed under his touch, closing his eyes. In that touch he felt Spock's carnal desires, heard his mantra. He mewled softly, undulating his hips.]
Is that what we are now?
[he pushes Spock's hands lower. Don't tease him...]
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Date: 2013-07-24 08:45 pm (UTC)In answer to Jim's question, a soft, satisfied, drawn out ...yes... reverberated through the bond.
Would Spock have been silently miserable? You don't miss what you don't know, and Spock wasn't aware that it felt this good to be connect. Granted, a large part of him would have realized he was missing something, and would have felt the gaping Jim sized hole that would never be properly filled. On the other hand... Spock would have satisfied himself by just being beside Jim.
The Vulcan's other hand moved under Jim's leg, and drew it upwards to make space for his hips. Leaning forward, Spock captured Jim's lips once more, moving his mouth gently, slowly across them. Tasting... savouring... memorizing...
This was indeed their wedding night. In the eyes of Vulcan customs, they were properly engaged... By adding sexual intimacy, they would be declaring their bond, making Jim officially apart of Spock's house.
The hand that wasn't pumping Jim traveled lower... and gently teased his entrance.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 08:58 pm (UTC)Imagine when they fully bond and have their true wedding night? Or when they get married the human way. Jim can't wait for either. But for now he moans softly into the kiss and whimpers as Spock teases him. He can't help it, he just wants more.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 10:19 pm (UTC)The sensation of that right warmth enveloping his sensitive digit takes him by surprise... He has done this before, but somehow this time is different. It is as if the sensation has been amplified as its shared with Jim.
A keening whine escapes the Vulcan's throat as he buries his head in the crook of Jim's neck, kissing the skin there. Spock's hand stutters over Jim's shaft...]
Jim....Jim.....Ashaya....
[Spock concentrates on breathing... searching the bond for Jim to make sure he was not hurting him.]
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Date: 2013-07-24 10:37 pm (UTC)He held Spock close, petting his hair back when he leaned into his neck. Again his words sprang to mind as though they were his own.]
Spock... I'm fine. Better than fine. You can go deeper if you want.
[he wasn't in pain, only pleasure and novelty while this new sensation swam over his senses. He felt almost lightheaded...]