The Vow au bc I love this plot twist and Aqua/Jim are adorable

[done_in_3]

Three years, nearly four, of wedded bliss. Jim was calmer, more focused and honestly a better captain. He had his wife, his beloved Aqua to thank for that, she was his light, his heart, his whole world. She kept him grounded and morally upright and he honestly took fewer stupid risks with his life thanks to her. The crew ran better, the Enterprise had better records, life was good.

Jim had bought them a house for when he was on Shore Leave on Earth, it barely got used but when Enterprise was docked, well they needed to crash somewhere. It was a nice place in San Francisco, in the heart of downtown and worth every penny of the millions it was worth.The property values were sky high but Jim was a veteran captain and got paid accordingly. He used his money on very little else besides charity so he was happy to spoil his wife with a comfortable home. Besides, if and when they had kids... well if their house just happened to be in an ideal school district he wouldn't call it an accident.

Everything was perfect, which begged for it all to come crashing down soon enough. Jim wouldn't remember the crash or the drunk kids in a truck behind him and Aqua on the road, he wouldn't remember that he shouldn't be alive, his wayfinder had saved him....but he doesn't know what this anymore. All he knows is he's laying in bed, he feels numb.. and he's waking up in what sounds and smells like a hospital.

"Mmm... mm." he was so tired and yet his mind was racing with questions. 'Where am I? What happened? Where's my ship?'

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[watersacrificed]

Aqua let out a soft chuckle, getting up from her seat and coming around to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

"It's not so much of a demand, more like a very...strong suggestion..." she teased, closing the distance between them to press a kiss to his temple.

Everything from there was a blur. There were chuckles and looks of desires exchanged between the two of them. Their night of passion and love making wasn't rushed. They took their time getting to know each other, and get familiar with one another's bodies again. Aqua didn't know how much time had passed until seep claimed both of them.

When she began to come around, Aqua found herself cuddled up next to Jim with one arm draped over his chest.

[done_in_3]

He honestly hadn't had sex like that before, the kind where he was doing something more than making himself feel good. It was something beyond that, he was having fun with her in a way like... he was discovering her as a person.

When it was over, wait when had he fallen asleep? He was curled around her, arm around her waist. He knew this was comfortable.

The windows showed a soft light, it was very early morning but Jim felt alert. He had a moment of clarity... he looked around the room and he inhaled the air... it was right, everything was as it should be. He looked to Aqua and smiled softly, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head, making sure to be gentle so he didn't wake her up.

and he froze.

He remembered that. This room, this was his room, this was his bed... it felt normal. It didn't feel weird.

[watersacrificed]

No matter how soft or gentle of a kiss, it always stirred Aqua awake. She turned into her husband more, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. She nuzzled him, finding herself at complete peace with everything. For a brief moment, it felt like she had her husband back. It felt like her life was finally going back to the sense of 'normal' both of them established so long ago.

But, it didn't last long. Aqua began to wake up, letting out a light yawn and slowly opened her eyes.

"Mmm...morning..."

[done_in_3]

He flinched when he heard her, suddenly feeling out of place. He still didn't know her, in fact she felt more like an invader in his now-familiar bedroom than before. Before she'd seemed like the true homeowner and he was the guest. Now he felt both familiar and uncomfortably foreign.

"H-hey....morning." he slapped on a smile but nothing was hiding how odd he felt.

[watersacrificed]

Even in Aqua's sleepy state, she was still able to see Jim flinch. He was trying his best to look okay with her cuddling next to him, but she could tell he wasn't too thrilled with it. She rubbed her eyes, pulling back from him as she did. She wondered if he was regretting what they did, or if he didn't like her invading his space. Her little bubble of happiness burst, she tried to act normal.

"I think I'm going to make breakfast...want anything?" Maybe some time alone will give him time to reflect and collect his thoughts.

[done_in_3]

"Ah, I'm alright. Thanks though." he didn't know how to make it better but he knew that comment was making it worse. He just wanted to be the man he was before but he felt so strange around her., He couldn't expect her to just be comfortable with her husband acting like a stranger and getting weird on her. He didn't want to be this weird guy... he couldn't help it.

He'd slink off on his own for most of the morning and avoid her. He needed to think.

[watersacrificed]

"..Okay." Aqua murmured, slipping into the closet to put her clothes on. She stayed quiet as she did, trying to keep her mind from wandering to dark places. They were doing so well! Did she say or do something to have changed the mood? Or...were they not as compatible as she thought they were?

He needed time to think and time would be something she'd give him. Aqua made breakfast for the two of them, hoping he'd come by and eat something. She wasn't about to intrude upon his space, deciding to stay in the guest room and keep to herself.

[done_in_3]

Jim was perplexed too. He had been doing so well he thought, he was getting closer to her and last night felt like he was finally breaking down some walls between himself and his memory. Only now he felt alienated and weird. He hadn't expected his memory to return in pieces and then feel even more alienated and uncomfortable about it.

He was trying to be someone for Aqua and it was making him kind of tired, tired of trying to be into a woman he didn't really know. He didn't want to hurt her but he wanted a break to clear his head.

He headed back inside to approach her.

"Hey, I'm going to head out. I need to think, ok?" he smiled but it was obvious he was not in a chipper mood. He disappeared from the house before she could protest.

[watersacrificed]

Aqua wasn't going to say no to him. He needed time to think and if that's what he really wanted, she could give him that. She thought he would only be gone for a few hours, but after receiving a call from Bones, she knew he wouldn't come home tonight. Part of her was worried he'd do something he'd later regret, another part was scared he'd really go back to his old life.

What if he wanted to do that? To sleep around with every pretty girl he saw and just....left her? They were making progress, but it felt like every move they made forward caused them to go three steps back. Maybe it was time for her to face reality. Maybe...they weren't meant for each other anymore.

If and when Jim came back, he'd find Aqua wasn't at home anymore.

[done_in_3]

He may have left and gotten a but drunk... He may have gotten hammered drunk actually, and ended up at Bones' house and slept on his couch after he couldn't see straight. He might be reliving his youth and he maaaaay have gotten a very fierce lecture from Leonard about his behavior.

He returns home with a medically relieved hangover and some flowers for Aqua.

When she's not home he assumes the worst so... he rummages around on his phone and finds her number... then he bitches out and just bakes some cookies as a peace offering and loiters around the house.

[watersacrificed]

In the time of Jim's departure and arrival, it left Aqua to do a lot of thinking on her own. She couldn't really go to Spock or Uhura about Jim, or anyone other than Bones about it. Part of her wanted to reach out to Terra to try and mend things, but then he would want her to return home. There was Ven, but in her eyes he was too young to burden him with her troubles.

For the first time in weeks, she realized how alone she was. She didn't have her partner in crime, she had only a shadow of him. They were bonding, but it was all baby steps. In her head she was thinking it might be time for her to take a step back and let Jim be on his own. The house wasn't theirs anymore, in his head it was his and she....she was a speck of light he was trying to catch.

The bluenette arrived home hours later, softly closing the door behind her. It wouldn't take her long to pack a bag and find a hotel or, another world, to stay in for a while.

[done_in_3]

Well she wasn't going to get out of the house so easy. Jim came to her looking meek, then startled at the sight of a suitcase.

"Where are we going?" he made a point to say 'we' because.... yeah he fucked up but he wasn't letter her do the same thing. His night of drinking made him feel worse, not better.

[watersacrificed]

Aqua didn't flinch or shudder when she heard Jim's voice. She left the suitcase on the floor, moving around to the drawer and opening it to see how much had in there.

"Nowhere." she replied, voice soft and distant. Over night she began to create a wall between them, trying to keep her distance and give him the space he needed.

[done_in_3]

"Don't do that." he sounded irritated instantly.

"Don't put that stupid wall up, just tell me what's going on. Are you leaving because you're mad at me? Because I went out last night? I'm sorry, I fucked up and if it means anything it made me feel worse. Stop... stop looking in the drawers, where are you going?" he really didn't want her going anywhere, he felt afraid of her leaving actually...

[watersacrificed]

It wasn't hard to pick up on the irritation in his voice, but it took everything in Aqua to not snap back at him. So far she had done a good job or keeping her feelings in tact, she could hold out for a little while longer. At least, until Jim opened his mouth and admitted to his faults and asked her where she was going.

"I'm not mad that you went out last night." No, she was upset over the phone call she received from bones and heard the faint sounds of a drunk Jim in the background. She kept going from one drawer to the next.

"I'm...tired, Jim. Of worrying...of a lot of things and ...I'm not sure I should even be here anymore."

[done_in_3]

"But what ARE you mad about?" he tried to step into the doorway, to indicate she was going to have a hard time if she wanted to leave.

"We were fine two days ago, what happened? You're suddenly done with me? We were trying to work it out. What I get one slip up and I'm out? What are--" he shook his head.

"No, this is a stupid idea. It was stupid when I did it and it's going to be stupid if you do it too. You're pregnant, what are you just going to take that baby away too?" he wasn't having it.

[watersacrificed]

That's it. That was the last straw and the emotions she had in her began to bleed out. She turned to look at Jim with frustration and hurt in her blue eyes.

"We were trying to work it out. We were fine, then we had sex and...when I woke up, you wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. I felt like I messed up, I screwed up, that I wasn't a one night stand for you to sweep under the rug.

I don't want to wake up in bed with you and have you look at me like I don't belong there. That is what's killing me, Jim. That's what I'm angry about."

[done_in_3]

"Okay, wonderful! Was that so hard?" he threw his hands up, looking at her. "You act like you don't have feelings until you blow up, is this how you were before?" finally he's going to clear the air for himself too.

"I'm trying, I'm making fucking progress, Aqua. I recognize this room, I recognize my house even a little bit but I have a long way to go. This is just how it's gonna be. You can't take my amnesia personally. I don't want to wake up like this either. I don't LIKE feeling like a stranger in my own life..." he sounded frustrated, even weary.

"You don't know how this feels. Even if you lost me, you still remember the house and our friends. You still have your life. I feel like I have nothing, you're my only lifeline but you're mad at me for something I can't control? Fine."

[watersacrificed]

"My life? What life? I left my home, my family to be with you and if I don't have you, I have nothing, Jim." They were best friends, they promised to be there for each other and now here they were about to yell at each other. Or, heck, they were a few seconds away from yelling at each other.

"I'm mad that I was left so suddenly by you! I'm mad that you took off after we had sex! Like...that was all you wanted and after you had it, you were done." She didn't feel used, but she felt she received the cold treatment afterwards.

"I'm doing my best to be understanding! I'm trying to make you feel at home, to go at your pace and not take things personally. But you leave me in bed, when you pull away after you kissed my forehead, how the hell can I not take that personally?"

[done_in_3]

He winced at her words, they stung, he knew he was in the wrong here. He sat on the bed.

"I...didn't handle that well. I just didn't know how to handle feeling so alienated out of nowhere, it hit me like a brick wall. Everything was fine one second then not fine the next... and you got awkward so I got more awkward, the more I just felt like I didn't belong here."

He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. "Okay so I didn't handle it well. I just..."

He stopped, honestly that was a new behavior he never had for other women. He stopped and what would have been nothing but excuses became an apologetic but enlightened response.

"I'm sorry. I know you're trying. You're being amazing.... I just panicked... there isn't an excuse. I shouldn't have left, I should have handled it better." he looked at her honestly

"Please don't leave."

[watersacrificed]

Aqua watched Jim sit on the bed, but didn't dare move any closer. They needed some physical space as they aired out their feelings. She loosely crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her weight from one foot to the next.

"We're both trying and maybe...maybe we just need some space. Are you asking me to stay because...we're married, or because you really don't want me to?" There was no point in being around him if he doing out of responsibility to her as her husband. Their titles meant little to a man with no memory of their life together.

[done_in_3]

"Because I don't want you to go." he said instantly. "Because.... if you go I know it'll be with hurt feelings. I don't want you to hurt... please... I want to fix it." he was hurting so deeply, something inside him was crying in pain from all this, something was twisting and he wanted to cry. Why? Was this his old self peeking through?

She was ready to walk out and she should be. He didn't deserve her. She was better than him. He hung his head.

"Maybe Terra was right."

[watersacrificed]

Aqua weighed his words, but when he admitted Terra was right, that took her aback. She never thought he'd admit to that, but once he did...she felt her heart ache for him. Quietly, she moved from her spot to sit next to him and lightly placed her hand on top of his lap.

"...I only want to be around if you want me to. I don't...want to be around because you feel obligated to, but...if you want me to stay. I will stay..." she whispered the last three words to him, leaning in so she could rest her forehead on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry too. Its hard to figure out how to be around you at times. If...I should be close or an arm's length away."

[done_in_3]

He covered her hand with his, suddenly desperate for her company. He listened and nodded, his eyes welled up, he started to breath shallow and erratic.

"I don't feel obligated. You're different... I want to figure you out, I want to figure us out... I just..." tears started falling and he wiped them away looking embarrassed.

"What's wrong with me?" he's having mood swings which is perfectly normal considering...

[watersacrificed]

Aqua looked up in time to see him wipe away his tears. Her eyes started to prick, tears of her own welling up. She reached up with her free hand to rest on his cheek, hoping her touch would offer some comfort.

"We're overwhelmed. We're trying to figure things out and...we're both acting stupid over little things..." And doing stupider things like leaving the other behind. An idea struck her then, causing her to slowly lower herself and him down onto their bed until they were laying down. From there she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly.

"...Hold me. It'll make both of us feel better..."