[Jim is relieved to finally share his burden with someone. He's needed help for a very long time. But he never let anyone in... He forgives Spock for his transgression. He didn't know. He fixed the problem anyway, got Jim out of his subsequent funk... all is well between them. He knows that Spock would never hurt him on purpose.]
You had to go, Spock. You couldn't stay there just for her either... you did the right thing...
[He knows he can't hold back his memories but he invites Spock to tell him more about his mother and the effects of the ruined bond.]
Jim was hesitant to come to him next time but the man brought out food first thing. He offered for Jim to eat first and he so wanted to. It had been days since he last saw him, his body had ached in want, and he salivated at the sight of it.
“Take it. It's yours.”
“Thank you.”
“Don't mention it... I guess you owe me something now, don't you?” he reached around, grabbing a fistful of Jim's rump, squeezing him. Jim gasped softly, wincing as Kodos gripped him too hard, his fingers like daggers even through his thick denim jeans.
“I-I guess....” he tried not to whimper.
“We had a deal, remember? It's not easy getting this food for you. You know the things I've had to do... I don't want to but there's not enough to go around. Now... I know a lot of other people would love to have this...”
“I...I didn't!” a needle of fear struck through him, he felt ice cold and almost too timid to speak. Would Kodos leave him here to starve because of his hesitation? He hadn't said no about their deal. “I didn't mean-”
Kodos smiled softly, speaking melodically, soothing, and kind. “Hey now, it's alright. I wouldn't up and leave you hanging. We made a deal right? And I always stick to my word.” Jim nodded, relieved. He didn't want to feel the anguish of hunger again.
“A good man always keeps his word, right?”
He nodded.
“And you're a good man too, I know that about you. It's why I knew I could make this agreement with you.”
He paused, dreading where this was going. But he was right... Kodos had gone to a lot of trouble to bring food he really didn't have to spare. Someone was missing a meal for him. It was the least he could do to hold up his end of the bargain right?..........right?
Jim nodded, procuring a smile from the red haired man. “That's right. I knew you were a good man. Come here...” Jim's legs twitched, and awkwardly he shuffled over while reprimanding himself for this surrender. He knew the right answer was no... but it was also yes. Kodos was asking something he shouldn't give him but Jim had agreed and he needed this bargain if he wanted to live.
It didn't matter, the trade began anyway. Kodos' hands slid over his body, undressing him, laying him down. Jim again felt so small underneath him but he closed his eyes and let Kodos do his business, waiting for it to be over.
“Eat.”
What? Had Kodos spoken? It came out kind of like a grunt. Jim opened his eyes, seeing Kodos looking at him with a grumpy expression.
“Eat.” he reached for a grape, holding it out to Jim. “I brought this for you, fucking eat it. Don't think you're too good for it.”
“But I... right now?” Kodos had never complained about him not eating in front of him. Had he done something wrong?
“Don't be a brat about it, eat it.” he pushed the grape past Jim's lips where he held it, the force of his hand pushed Jim's head flat on the ground. Kodos' hand was salty, his nails scraped the inside of his mouth. The grape was crushed between his fingers but he wouldn't pull them out.. Jim gagged, hands around the man's wrist.
“Swallow it.” Kodos' eyes were so intense, angry ice blue that chilled Jim on the spot. Somehow he knew this would only escalate if he struggled so slowly and with great care he flexd his throat to retrieve the small fruit and swallowed it. Kodos withdrew his hand and Jim gasped for air though his break was a short one. The man returned with a piece of bread which Jim was loathe to take, though he reached for it. Kodos' mouth was on his skin as he swallowed the morsel, inspiring a desire to gag. He didn't reach for another piece even though Kodos slid the plate of fruit over to him.
“... Is there a problem with it?”
“No, it's just... I can't really breath when you--”
“Is there a problem with the food I bring you?”
“N-no...”
“Then eat it. Or do I need to help you?”
He hastily grabbed an orange slice but his hands were shaking, teeth chattering. He struggled around the fruit, unable to swallow it. Kodos growled, leaping forward holding Jim down as he pushed the fruit deeper into his mouth.
“Mnnngg!” Jim struggled, breathing heavily through his nose. This was another kind of penetration, to be categorized with the other things Kodos did. Jim wondered mournfully if he'd bleed from this too. He could hardly accommodate the size of the orange while it wasn't chewed. It slammed against his throat much like Kodos' penis, and his throat worked as an effectiv door, refusing entrance to so large a morsel. Nearly a minute of struggling forced the thing down his throat anyway and it traced lines down his esophagus threatening to rip it open. Jim didn't want to have to spit up blood all over Kodos...
He gasped for air once more, limp on the ground. Kodos was fumbling with his belt and Jim was simultaneously relieved and filled with dread. It was almost over. The worst part was imminent but at least he didn't have to eat like that anymore.
Only he did. Kodos held a sliver of carrot to Jim's mouth, spearing it past his teeth as he simultaneously pushed inside him in one thrust. Jim groaned in pain, opening his throat enough to allow the vegetable to be shoved down his gullet. More followed until the plate was clear and Kodos was spent inside him. After he was finished, Jim remained still, watching as the man adjusted his clothes and stepped out of the barn.
“Do as I say... and we won't have problems.”
Once he was gone, Jim turned to his side, vomiting half of his food up. The rest wasn't broken down yet, he couldn't get it up though he could feel his belly trying to expel it. Thin, acidic, putrid bile formed a puddle on the dirt floor where he lay, his throat burned, his body ached and he knew he was bleeding. He groaned, trembled... and carefully picked himself up off the floor to walk ten feet into an animal stall. There was a pile of hay there that he dropped himself into where he was warm and could pass out.
[Jim gave Spock time to process that memory before speaking]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2013-08-23 07:13 pm (UTC)[Jim is relieved to finally share his burden with someone. He's needed help for a very long time. But he never let anyone in... He forgives Spock for his transgression. He didn't know. He fixed the problem anyway, got Jim out of his subsequent funk... all is well between them. He knows that Spock would never hurt him on purpose.]
You had to go, Spock. You couldn't stay there just for her either... you did the right thing...
[He knows he can't hold back his memories but he invites Spock to tell him more about his mother and the effects of the ruined bond.]
Jim was hesitant to come to him next time but the man brought out food first thing. He offered for Jim to eat first and he so wanted to. It had been days since he last saw him, his body had ached in want, and he salivated at the sight of it.
“Take it. It's yours.”
“Thank you.”
“Don't mention it... I guess you owe me something now, don't you?” he reached around, grabbing a fistful of Jim's rump, squeezing him. Jim gasped softly, wincing as Kodos gripped him too hard, his fingers like daggers even through his thick denim jeans.
“I-I guess....” he tried not to whimper.
“We had a deal, remember? It's not easy getting this food for you. You know the things I've had to do... I don't want to but there's not enough to go around. Now... I know a lot of other people would love to have this...”
“I...I didn't!” a needle of fear struck through him, he felt ice cold and almost too timid to speak. Would Kodos leave him here to starve because of his hesitation? He hadn't said no about their deal. “I didn't mean-”
Kodos smiled softly, speaking melodically, soothing, and kind. “Hey now, it's alright. I wouldn't up and leave you hanging. We made a deal right? And I always stick to my word.” Jim nodded, relieved. He didn't want to feel the anguish of hunger again.
“A good man always keeps his word, right?”
He nodded.
“And you're a good man too, I know that about you. It's why I knew I could make this agreement with you.”
He paused, dreading where this was going. But he was right... Kodos had gone to a lot of trouble to bring food he really didn't have to spare. Someone was missing a meal for him. It was the least he could do to hold up his end of the bargain right?..........right?
Jim nodded, procuring a smile from the red haired man. “That's right. I knew you were a good man. Come here...” Jim's legs twitched, and awkwardly he shuffled over while reprimanding himself for this surrender. He knew the right answer was no... but it was also yes. Kodos was asking something he shouldn't give him but Jim had agreed and he needed this bargain if he wanted to live.
It didn't matter, the trade began anyway. Kodos' hands slid over his body, undressing him, laying him down. Jim again felt so small underneath him but he closed his eyes and let Kodos do his business, waiting for it to be over.
“Eat.”
What? Had Kodos spoken? It came out kind of like a grunt. Jim opened his eyes, seeing Kodos looking at him with a grumpy expression.
“Eat.” he reached for a grape, holding it out to Jim. “I brought this for you, fucking eat it. Don't think you're too good for it.”
“But I... right now?” Kodos had never complained about him not eating in front of him. Had he done something wrong?
“Don't be a brat about it, eat it.” he pushed the grape past Jim's lips where he held it, the force of his hand pushed Jim's head flat on the ground. Kodos' hand was salty, his nails scraped the inside of his mouth. The grape was crushed between his fingers but he wouldn't pull them out.. Jim gagged, hands around the man's wrist.
“Swallow it.” Kodos' eyes were so intense, angry ice blue that chilled Jim on the spot. Somehow he knew this would only escalate if he struggled so slowly and with great care he flexd his throat to retrieve the small fruit and swallowed it. Kodos withdrew his hand and Jim gasped for air though his break was a short one. The man returned with a piece of bread which Jim was loathe to take, though he reached for it. Kodos' mouth was on his skin as he swallowed the morsel, inspiring a desire to gag. He didn't reach for another piece even though Kodos slid the plate of fruit over to him.
“... Is there a problem with it?”
“No, it's just... I can't really breath when you--”
“Is there a problem with the food I bring you?”
“N-no...”
“Then eat it. Or do I need to help you?”
He hastily grabbed an orange slice but his hands were shaking, teeth chattering. He struggled around the fruit, unable to swallow it. Kodos growled, leaping forward holding Jim down as he pushed the fruit deeper into his mouth.
“Mnnngg!” Jim struggled, breathing heavily through his nose. This was another kind of penetration, to be categorized with the other things Kodos did. Jim wondered mournfully if he'd bleed from this too. He could hardly accommodate the size of the orange while it wasn't chewed. It slammed against his throat much like Kodos' penis, and his throat worked as an effectiv door, refusing entrance to so large a morsel. Nearly a minute of struggling forced the thing down his throat anyway and it traced lines down his esophagus threatening to rip it open. Jim didn't want to have to spit up blood all over Kodos...
He gasped for air once more, limp on the ground. Kodos was fumbling with his belt and Jim was simultaneously relieved and filled with dread. It was almost over. The worst part was imminent but at least he didn't have to eat like that anymore.
Only he did. Kodos held a sliver of carrot to Jim's mouth, spearing it past his teeth as he simultaneously pushed inside him in one thrust. Jim groaned in pain, opening his throat enough to allow the vegetable to be shoved down his gullet. More followed until the plate was clear and Kodos was spent inside him. After he was finished, Jim remained still, watching as the man adjusted his clothes and stepped out of the barn.
“Do as I say... and we won't have problems.”
Once he was gone, Jim turned to his side, vomiting half of his food up. The rest wasn't broken down yet, he couldn't get it up though he could feel his belly trying to expel it. Thin, acidic, putrid bile formed a puddle on the dirt floor where he lay, his throat burned, his body ached and he knew he was bleeding. He groaned, trembled... and carefully picked himself up off the floor to walk ten feet into an animal stall. There was a pile of hay there that he dropped himself into where he was warm and could pass out.
[Jim gave Spock time to process that memory before speaking]
And that's why I don't like being fed.