[Well he doesn't understand that you still need to know more, Spock so... well he'd going downstairs to drink beer, eat pancakes, and tell his mom finally how he and Sam saved her the grief of a divorce by hiding how Frank was verbally and emotionally abusive.
How he regularly threw things, chased them out of the house, reminded them that they were lower than dirt, as valuable as the dust on the mantle, and as missable as cow excrement. He talked about how Frank was a drinker, a bit lazy, working the kids before himself, and yet he was charming as could be when Winona was around...]
Sam and I knew you were already overwhelmed with losing Dad... we... didn't want to make it worse on you.
[Winona was quiet, tears in her eyes yet unshed]
When Sam ran away, I tried to tell you but we were all focused on him being gone... when I got back from Tarsus... Frank was just being himself and I was... in a low place. You came home and started screaming at me to shape up, Frank had thrown your green glass vase at me and it was in pieces on the floor, he said I'd broken it and you believed him. It didn't matter but he gave me this... smug smile when you weren't looking. I realized then that evil will always win.
So I stopped trying.
...That's about the time you really started acting out...
It didn't matter to me anymore. I'd lost my mom, my dad, my brother, and then Kodos happened and nothing I could do was going to change where I was in life, people were always going to treat me like a bug to be squashed... so I just did whatever I wanted.
[Winona hung her head, ashamed, wounded, grieving for her son.]
I... don't remember that.
You were kind of out of it...
I believe you... So all those years... you just gave up? You never wanted to go to college or anything, I never got it, you were so academic as a boy.
I thought being successful meant being like you and Frank and Kodos. I didn't want that. The only alternative was being a deviant. [he shrugged]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-07-12 05:24 am (UTC)[Well he doesn't understand that you still need to know more, Spock so... well he'd going downstairs to drink beer, eat pancakes, and tell his mom finally how he and Sam saved her the grief of a divorce by hiding how Frank was verbally and emotionally abusive.
How he regularly threw things, chased them out of the house, reminded them that they were lower than dirt, as valuable as the dust on the mantle, and as missable as cow excrement. He talked about how Frank was a drinker, a bit lazy, working the kids before himself, and yet he was charming as could be when Winona was around...]
Sam and I knew you were already overwhelmed with losing Dad... we... didn't want to make it worse on you.
[Winona was quiet, tears in her eyes yet unshed]
When Sam ran away, I tried to tell you but we were all focused on him being gone... when I got back from Tarsus... Frank was just being himself and I was... in a low place. You came home and started screaming at me to shape up, Frank had thrown your green glass vase at me and it was in pieces on the floor, he said I'd broken it and you believed him. It didn't matter but he gave me this... smug smile when you weren't looking. I realized then that evil will always win.
So I stopped trying.
...That's about the time you really started acting out...
It didn't matter to me anymore. I'd lost my mom, my dad, my brother, and then Kodos happened and nothing I could do was going to change where I was in life, people were always going to treat me like a bug to be squashed... so I just did whatever I wanted.
[Winona hung her head, ashamed, wounded, grieving for her son.]
I... don't remember that.
You were kind of out of it...
I believe you... So all those years... you just gave up? You never wanted to go to college or anything, I never got it, you were so academic as a boy.
I thought being successful meant being like you and Frank and Kodos. I didn't want that. The only alternative was being a deviant. [he shrugged]
Like I said, I stopped caring after that.
[Winona wiped a tear away, wanting to hide]
What a heavy burden for a child to carry...